NEW YORK CITY – Sunday, November 27, 2016
On Saturday night, 38-year-old New York City driver Thad Hanks honked his car horn while cruising down W 35th Street, sparking a miles long symphony of honking horns throughout the city. “It was kind of a freeing experience, actually,” said Hanks in a press conference Sunday. Initially, Hanks honked his car horn when the car in front of him stopped at a red light. “I’ll admit I was frustrated that this person in front of me would dare to obey traffic laws.” However, his frustration soon turned to pure joy when the truck driver next to him joined in with a series of rapid honks.
“Something about [Hanks’] car horn just spoke to me and I felt the urge to bang my fist against my own car horn for the rest of my drive,” said truck driver Newt Newtson. Soon, drivers all across the street were pressing their car horns in solidarity. In a truly inspired effort, one driver leaned on her car horn for what seemed like ten full minutes, sending out an uninterrupted stream of noise that woke 54-year-old Dora Johnson from her slumber all the way on the Upper East Side. “Honestly, I was annoyed at first, but after five minutes without lifting a hand, I was impressed at the driver’s dedication and stamina,” remarked Johnson, stifling a yawn. When reached for comment, the driver was nothing but flattered by Johnson’s remarks, “you know, when I set out to lean the entire half of my body onto my car horn, I didn’t expect praise or recognition. It was definitely a challenge to drive this way, but it was so worth it to receive such positive support.” Hanks’ movement continued throughout the night, as more and more drivers were inspired to get creative with the kind of noise they could make. The movement even reached car owner Eunice Macaroon who was preparing to turn in for bed at the time, but instead reached out her window with her car remote to set her car alarm off. “I just felt like I had to be apart of it, you know?” said Eunice, as her car alarm blared well into the early hours of the morning.
At one point in the night, a group of taxi drivers in Times Square began honking their car horns to the beat of Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.” The performance was so well received by fellow drivers and pedestrians alike, the group went on to perform several encores of the song as they proceeded to their respective destinations. Said one member of the impromptu group, “We’re definitely thinking about starting a group, literally taking the act on the road.” At press time, Hanks was given a key to the city for starting the interactive community movement and greeted fellow participants and fans. When asked about his future plans, Hanks talked about wanting to get pedestrians involved in something, “maybe stopping suddenly in the middle of the sidewalk.”
*This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.*